The Yin and the Yang

Life is a balance. So they say - and I buy into the philosophy. Shanghai is no exception to that rule. All the great things I love about this city are balanced by less fortunate attributes. After spending 8 days in Thailand, I returned to my routine in Shanghai with a sense of gratitude to be back walking along these streets. Today I was minding my own business, walking along listening to music and really enjoying the pleasant day. Apparently however, every bit of good must come with the bad. Just as I was basking in my happiness a white ball came flying at me. Yes, a wadded up used napkin or kleenex or other paper product bounced off my side. Seriously, someone just threw trash at me. Apparently whatever way I look today just screamed "trashcan"! I looked up to see a mini-gang of young (twenty-something?) chinese groupies a few feet away watching me. I'm not sure what kind of reaction they were expecting. I settled on giving them a go-to-hell look and kept walking.

I wonder how, in this modern city and world, a person can even conceive of throwing their rubbish at a random passerby. It's beyond me. It makes me think of another fault of the single child system in China - so many of these kids are actually growing up to be huge spoiled brats. Imagine it - millions of single children who all their life, they were number one. Doted on by parents and grandparents with no one else to have to share affection or belongings. China is becoming an odd juxtaposition of the old and the new ways clashing into each other. The parents save their money to spend on their children and buy them the nicest newest name brand things they can afford just to gain face. Chinese culture has always been based on guanxi (gaining face). In the modern world of Shanghai - it is especially extreme. Many Shanghai women won't even talk to a man unless he has a high paying job and owns an apartment and a car. Property ownership is very important to a modern Shanghai bachelor. No property, no girlfriend. There's so much competition - always. It gets really disgusting sometimes to see the amount of need here answered by the empty spending of those who buy ridiculous things just to look good. For example, in this city, it is frowned upon for your baby to wear used baby clothes. Anybody who's anybody outfits their baby in new, name brand clothing. This whole "building face" thing is such a frustrating thing to me. When I find a bargain, I brag that I paid almost nothing! The Shanghai women would never do such a thing - they would tell you how they buy only the best and most expensive! It all makes me so tired.

Anyway, I leave my random tangent and head back to my point...

Shanghai will knock you down, but will just as quickly pick you back up and dust you off. Last week before we left on vacation an interesting incidence befell me. Again walking along and listening to my music (with my iphone tucked in my bag slung to my side) I am cut off by a well dressed fellow clad in a helmet (how rare) and his fancy motorcycle flying out of a parking garage exit. At the same time, I noticed 'The Killers' stopped singing in my ear. (Which I believed was my phone ringing - when listening to music on an iPhone, the music will pause when you are receiving a call.) Before I can go to my bag to refer to my phone and see who is calling, the motorcycle man is stopping just behind me and saying something to me (in Chinese of course) pointing to a young nicely dressed teen walking past me and then to my bag. As I look down at my bag I realize my headphone chord is not disappearing into my bag pocket but rather the end plug is dangling limply in front of me. I grab the pocket where my iphone should be to find it empty. Ayah! Panic. My Preciousssss!!! I run up to the kid who has swiftly walked past me by now and glare at him and jab my hand out and say "Give it back to me, now!". He gives me a dumbfounded look (even though he knows perfectly well what I want!) so I try taking my Mandarin for a spin thinking maybe he won't take advantage of me if I can speak chinese - "Xianzai wo gei ni!". This futile effort tragically backfires and comes out as "Now, I give you!". (Darn it, I always get my pronouns mixed up when on the spot.) Still the innocent look. At this point another little-bit-older man nearby, who now I understand was probably his boss or accomplice, says something and points to another guy walking just ahead. I franticly look forward to that guy, but he is too far ahead to have just been walking behind me and I'm suddenly confused. To my amazing good fortune, the motorcycle dude who just about ran me over is actually a good samaritan. Or maybe he just had pity on me after hearing my butchered Mandarin. Regardless, he has stopped and is now calling the kid over to him and saying something that must've been threatening because as I walk up to them, the kid pulls my beautiful iphone from his pocket and hands it over. All of this happened in a matter of less than 10 seconds. I was so flustered I almost forgot to even thank the fancy motorcycle man. I didn't even think for a second about turning the kid in to the police until I had walked off and he was long gone. I was just so happy not to have lost my phone!!!
I've now been told that this is very common here. That even if I had turned him in, it wouldn't matter. People hire kids from outside the city to steal for them and then if the kids get caught it's no skin off their back. (Random side note - did you know you have to have a permit to live in the city? Not just anyone can come move into the city - it's too crowded!) This thievery in fact happens to everyone - the Chinese too - not just foreigners! For some reason, that made me feel mildly better. I mean I've done a lot of traveling and know not to leave your zippers open, you should carry your purse in front of you, and how vulnerable backpacks worn on your back can be, etc. But I suppose I got comfortable here. I wasn't in the traveling mindset anymore. Besides, I didn't think anyone would take my iphone while I was listening to it zipped up in my bag! I was stupid. Now I know not to put anything valuable in any pockets easy to reach. I suppose it's really an American thing to have 'cell phone pockets' for easy access on your bag. That makes me laugh now! In the end, I was a tad bit irritated that kid took away a bit of my carefree spirit when it comes to my walking - now I am a bit paranoid about all the people walking near me. (Which is a lot of people, most of the time!) But mostly I guess I feel grateful and really lucky that someone cared enough to take the risk of standing up for me. Especially since I've also been told that most of the time any witnesses will not tell you or the police when these things happen because many thieves work in groups and they could retaliate. So I'm seeing as the glass was half full that day. Shanghai has a way of making you choose sometimes. You have to choose to be happy or ticked off. There's no room for standing on the line. Complacency has no place in this city. At least there seems to be a balance of the positive with the negative most of the time. Someone steals from you but someone else saves you!